Dealing with Disappointment

I am about to self-combust with disappointment.

I don't deal well with disappointment. I usually simmer, simmer, and simmer some more and when I can't simmer anymore, I... well, it's not pretty.

I WANT THIS PLAYPEN!

I saw it online last week as I was browsing online and it matches the stroller and carrier we bought. I initially asked my cousin to ask my dad if he could bring it back here for me when he comes back (it's the size of a medium travel bag and about 15kg when packed), but since I still haven't heard from them, I'm taking the answer to be negative for the meantime and decided to considered other options (to be sure!). Unfortunately, those other options aren't working out very well.

I tried ordering it online and have it shipped here. Unfortunately, the first store I ordered from only ships within the US. I found a store that ships internationally but as I was checking out, the shipping cost amounted to almost $350! More than 2x the price of the item. I contacted the seller clarifying the shipping cost and still haven't received a response from them.

My husband and I tried looking for the item here. We found a local brand store and they have the model but not in the color I want. This playpen is about to be the centerpiece of my living room for about a year and no way am I getting something that won't match my current color scheme since I've been working so hard to get it to look the way I want. I asked the sales person if any of their other branches carries the model in the color I want but he told me no. They only carry the ones selected and imported by the merchandiser and for the model I want, they only carry 2 color options. (Well, tell your merchandiser he/she has bad taste! Hmph!) I looked at the sales person and decided I don't believe him so my husband and I are checking out another branch this weekend. I hope we find one (though local price for this item is double the price online) but until I'm sure I can get it, the disappointment lingers.

I feel the world conspiring against me and my playpen. I've been looking at it online all day and the more I see it, the more I want it and the more I feel disappointed when I think that I might not be able to get it (aaarrrrrgggghhh!!!).

There is also a sub-plot to all this. I stupidly told my mom and my sister about asking my dad to bring this here. I know! I know! I should have kept my mouth shut. But at the time, I was on a shopping high, I was happy, I was chatty. Not being very big fans of my dad (understatement!), they both told me to forget about it. I stand alone in keeping the peace between 2 clashing sides and if my mom asks about it again and that playpen does not materialize in my house within the next few months (whichever way, she won't have to know how, I can just tell her what I think is the best answer), it's like giving her live ammo.

None of my options are a sure negative yet. It's just that at this point, I don't have an alternative that I'm sure about. And that bugs me. For all I know, on the extreme positive end, all my options might actually work out. In which case, I'll be all giddy and happy. But if none does...

...I'm flying out there to get it myself!!! X(