Love from a child's point-of-view

Last February, we had the opportunity to visit my daughter's pre-school. And posted in her nursery classroom's wall...

As part of one of their lessons, the kids in my daughter's class, aged 3-4 years old, were asked about their concept of love... what do they think it means, who do they love, how do you show someone you love them. Amidst all the other kids usual answers of hugs and kisses and mommy and daddy, Andrea's answer stood out... 

"Pasyal sa SM" ("A trip to the mall.")

Yep, that's my daughter. Apparently, we take too many trips to the mall for the activity to invoke love in her little heart. Nothing beats simple pleasures :)

To everyone out there celebrating the special bond of love between mother and child... HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY!

NOTE: This post is written as part of Brilliant Earth's "Love and Appreciation: Bright Like a Diamond Campaign.

Motherhood 101: What do you think of nursery rhymes?

We bought Andrea a nursery rhymes CD a few months ago. But it was only recently when we put the CD on the car stereo to entertain Andrea during short trips that I noticed that some are a little... violent :-/

Some of the rhymes I know from my own childhood (i.e. think Jack and Jill with Jack breaking his head). Some I know I've heard but was never really too familiar with the words. Well, Andrea's CD came with a song book so now I can review those rhymes in detail:

1. Sing a Song of Sixpence

Sing a song of sixpence

A pocketful of rye;

Four and twenty blackbirds

Baked in a pie; (Janelle: eeeeew much???)

2. Three Blind Mice

Three blind mice (2x)

See how they run (2x)

They all ran after the farmer's wife

Who cut of their tails with a carving knife...

3. Five Little Ducks

Five little ducks went swimming one day

Over the pond and far away

Mother duck said "Quack! Quack! Quack!"

But only four little ducks came back.

(Janelle: Song continues until finally no little ducks came back... I'm wondering what to tell Andrea when she's old enough to ask whatever happened to the little ducks she likes so much)

4. Goosey, Goosey Gander

...There I met an old man

Who wouldn't say his prayers

So I took him by the left leg

And threw him down the stairs (Janelle: need I say more?)

Motherhood 101: Proud Parent

I was reading the latest issue of Reader's Digest last night and in the "Dear Aunty" section a letter sender who calls herself "Proud Parent" was asking for advice regarding a friend who always tries to top her stories about her children. Aunty's advice was to find a less competitive friend to share her stories with.

I think most parents have this tendency. For a while, I was fighting this same tendency because I remember how it used to annoy me when I hear 2 parents engage in a "who-has-the-best-kid" conversation. Face it, every parent is biased and we think that our children are better than other people's kids. But your child will never be the best in the eyes of another parent no matter how great your story (I think any parent who thinks that another child is better than his/hers needs therapy). So I don't see the point in these bragging sessions. For me, it's enough that I know how great Andrea is. I don't have to impose her on other people to feed my ego. When someone tells a story about their child, is it really so hard to just listen and be happy for them?

Motherhood 101: Baby Items & Equipment

I tried to steer away from this particular subject in my blog because I don't want my blog to become just another "baby blog". But recent conversations with my non-married friends and friends with no children yet prompted me to share what I am learning as a first time mom (in the hopes that it might help them in the future). I still don't plan to turn this into a "baby blog"... I have other things to write about. American Idol Season 9 is coming this January after all ;)

As first time parents, my husband and I didn't know the first thing about buying items and equipment for our baby save for what our friends and family told us and what we read on the internet. We tried to be practical in our choices but since Andrea was born, the reality of her wants and needs keeps challenging what we consider practical. Our way is probably not the most practical way but from the perspective of 2 working parents who are trying very hard to balance family, work and personal life (with no nanny to help us still, waaaah!)... this way works.

1. The crib

Our playpen/crib has vibrate function, lights, music and nature sounds... features that I was not really looking for and didn't think we needed, but are turning out to be really helpful. I am discovering that Andrea is not one for music, it does very little for her. So we never really got to use the music feature which plays Mozart's pieces. The nature sounds however, was very useful to us. When Andrea was about 2 weeks old, I found out that Andrea likes falling asleep to the sound of running water and splashing waves. It gave me about 30 minutes extra sleep time because I didn't have to lull her to sleep (when you're sleep deprived, trust me, any extra sleep time is a blessing!). I just put her in her crib and turn the nature sounds on. The vibrate function we were able to use when she was a little older, about a month and a half until now. It can calm her and put her to sleep when she's fussy or is having difficulty sleeping.

Andrea's upstairs playpen/crib

2. The infant car seat.

In other countries, this piece of equipment is mandatory whenever baby needs to ride in a car... but in this country, not so much. Baby car seats, after all, are not cheap. Our car seat converts to a baby carrier and is part of a travel system (stroller with carrier/car seat). I never really thought we needed the car seat. Then again we never really expected that Andrea will need to travel every weekday with just her daddy and her in the car... she was supposed to have a nanny with her as well. Having a car seat proved to be a life saver for us since I can't go with them on these trips. And even when I am in the car with them, my arms doesn't have to hurt from carrying Andrea the entire trip. It's really convenient.

As an added bonus, Andrea really likes it in her car seat/carrier. When used as a carrier, the bottom is rounded so it rocks back and forth. Andrea sleeps longer whenever we let her sleep there during the day.

Andrea's stroller and carrier/car seat

3. Swaddle Blanket

Swaddling - is the practice of wrapping infants snugly in blankets to limit the movement of their arms and legs. According to several baby books I've read, it makes them feel more secure.

Andrea's SwaddleMe blanket design

This item saved my sanity.

We saw this at the mall when we were shopping for baby items before Andrea was born but didn't get one because it was pricey compared to receiving blankets that you can use to swaddle a baby anyway. However, as babies grow fast, Andrea can manage to break out of her swaddle when she was about 3 weeks old and would wake up often in the middle of the night when the movement of her arms and legs startle her. More sleepless nights for me. She was about a month old when we finally decided to try this and lo! Andrea was able to sleep for 4 straight hours the first time she used it which allowed me to get a decent night's sleep for the first time since she was born. As of this writing, Andrea is 10 weeks old and has better control of her arms and legs but she still likes sleeping tightly swaddled.

This is available from Kiddopotamus (and available in the infant section of some local malls). I'm not sure if other brands have this.


4. BPA-free, Colic-free bottles

We will never know the effect of using BPA-free bottles until the babies this generation reach maturity and show a decrease in the occurence of the diseases that BPA is supposed to cause. So I won't go into that discussion. It's a good option though and I chose BPA-free bottles for Andrea.

Colic-free bottles are those that are angled to make sure that the nipple is always full of milk when baby is feeding to reduce air intake. Personally, I preferred the Playtex Ventaire system. Again, they are pricier than the regular feeding bottle (good thing ours was given to us as a gift :) but I have read some great reviews about these particular bottles and now, based on personal experience, Andrea does take in less air and sometimes does not even require burping after feeding when she uses these bottles as opposed to her other bottles. Less air means less possibility of crying due to tummy ache and less stress for me :)


5. Bouncer

Bouncers are infant chairs that move or "bounce" when a baby moves or when you flip a switch. this is one piece of equipment we regret not buying sooner. We can buy it now but since Andrea is already 2 and half months old and will only be able to use it for probably 2 more months, I don't think it's worth the price anymore. If we're having another baby in the future, I will definitely get one. Again, this can soothe or entertain a fussy baby and can reduce the time you have to carry your baby (as your baby gets heavier, carrying her for long periods gets to be very very tiring).

Example of a bouncer

All my suggestions are prompted by a single formula: Less crying time for Andrea = happier mommy and daddy ;) Each baby is unique and what works for us might not work for you (especially if you have plenty of help around, you may not need most of these items). Sometimes you need to get to know your baby first to figure out what the best options for you are.

Motherhood 101: It's easier to keep a clean house clean

That's one of the lessons I learned from our first experience with a housekeeper.

Our housekeeper/yaya left last Friday after 7 months of being with us. She was our first housekeeper She told me last Thursday that her father was ill and was rushed to the hospital and that if it's ok with me, she's leaving on Friday. Her timing couldn't have been more perfect. I was scheduled to go back to work today, Monday! Good thing my husband's parents are visiting and will still be with us for another week, they volunteered to watch Andrea while we are at work. As it is with every employer, I don't think we have the right to refuse any employee who wishes to leave. My house, after all, is not a prison. So I thanked her, gave her her last pay with the Christmas bonus she deserved anyway for giving us good service during her stay, and let her go.

So since last Friday, I've been taking care of Andrea AND cleaning the house AND doing the laundry and ironing (thanks to my mother-in-law, I don't have to do the cooking as well... life's little blessings). One thing I realized was that keeping my house clean is a lot easier now than it was before, because my housekeeper kept it clean before she left. Before she arrived, there were nooks and crannies in the house that I wasn't willing to clean myself so I left them be to get dirtier and dirtier. My housekeeper cleaned them for me. And for that, I thank her and wish her well.

Now I hope we find a new yaya for Andrea soon.

Motherhood 101: Stepping down from my 4-inch heels

There is no glamour in motherhood.

Seriously.

No matter how much effort and grace you put into it, the baby will vomit and pee on you... wherever, whenever. She will poop into her bath water during bath time. She will cry and scream during the most inopportune moments.

I have often wondered about moms whose lives revolve around their babies. They talk of nothing else and they don't have time for anything else. I find it annoying but I think I am beginning to understand. During the first few weeks and months after birth, that's all you have. Day in and day out, it's just you and your baby. You can't go out, you cease to have personal time and sleep becomes a myth. Your life becomes a neverending cycle of changing diapers, feeding, and giving baths to squirming little people (good thing they actually look cute whatever they do). There is no room for 4-inch heels when you have a baby on one arm and doing everything else with the other.

I am also beginning to understand postpartum depression. How can you not be depressed? You can't go out, you cease to have personal time and sleep becomes a myth. You have strech marks, you need to lose weight, and most of your clothes and shoes don't fit anymore (and you get this nagging feeling they probably never will again... ever!).
What I don't understand is how some women don't go through it. They probably don't have much of a life to begin with (kidding! Forgive me, I'm cranky, I haven't had any sleep yet).

Last October, this became my life.

How to Buy BPA-Free Anything

Since my husband's conversion to my BPA-free philosophy last Friday, we've been checking most of the plastics at home. I saw an episode of The Doctors last week (though I think it was an old episode) discussing BPA and they mentioned that one way to check if the plastic you are using is safe is to check the recycle number. I only remembered them mentioning that you should avoid products with recycle number 7.

More research yielded more information. To make sure you are buying BPA-free plastic products:

1. Check the recycle number. Avoid getting anything with recycle numbers 3, 6 or 7. Items with recycle numbers 1, 2, 4 and 5 are said to be safer.
(source: http://www.ehow.com/how_2106730_buy-bpa-free-baby-bottles.html?ref=fuel)

Recycle numbers can be found inside the recycle symbol (3 arrows in the shape of a triangle) usually molded at the bottom of plastic bottles. They look like this:



For more technical information on the meaning of recycle numbers, you can check out this site that I found: http://www.earthodyssey.com/symbols.html


2. Check the label. Most BPA-free products indicate they are BPA-free in the labels.

I've been checking recycle numbers of the plastics at home and though I have 5's... most are 6's and 7's. The Starbucks water bottle I've been using for a couple of years has recycle number 7. Good thing I don't really put anything hot in it, just cold water.

Motherhood 101: Going BPA-Free

I love my husband... I do! But sometimes it takes all of my willpower not to dance around singing out "I told you so!!!"

Latest issue: BPA-free anything.

BPA, or Bisphenol-A first entered my vocabulary a few months ago during a conversation with one of my officemates who asked me if I was getting BPA-free bottles for my baby. She told me she had to order online to get these bottles abroad because at the time, they were hard to find in our part of the world. I did a little research on BPA and found out the harmful effects that some experts are attributing to BPA exposure on babies.

So what is BPA?

"Bisphenol A (BPA) is an industrial chemical used to make a hard, clear plastic known as polycarbonate, which is used in many consumer products, including reusable water bottles and baby bottles. "
(source: http://www.chemicalsubstanceschimiques.gc.ca/challenge-defi/bisphenol-a_fs-fr_e.html)

Though some studies have shown that BPA has little effect on adults and children, exposure of babies up to 18 months shows increase risk of cancer and diabetes later in life, early onset of puberty, negative effects on the reproductive system, etc. Canada is working on banning baby bottles that contain BPA while several big establishments in the US (like Walmart and Toys 'R Us) will be removing them from their shelves by the end of the year, I think.

Given this information, I was still not totally convinced due to the price tag of BPA-free bottles. Until I saw these:

Playtex Ventaire Crystal Clear

Sometimes, you just have to see something you really, really like to convince you! They looked so pretty and classy! Trust me, the picture does not do these bottles justice. These really are pretty but they were a bit pricey (mall price for these here are almost double the price listed online) so my husband was dead set against it. He told me that the BPA issue is just a marketing campaign being used by manufacturers to charge high prices for their products. He told me that we were raised using the same bottles they are now banning and we turned out fine (I didn't want to raise the point that most of the people I know have complications during pregnancy). I decided to settle for these instead:

Playtex VentAire

These come at a lower price tag but with the same great user ratings, and still he said no. The "are-you-telling-me-she's-not-worth-it?" card doesn't seem to sway him this time. I planned to buy these anyway when he's not with me and let him deal with it when he sees it at home. Good thing my friend, El, said she's going to give me a set as a gift (thanks El!). I plan to buy a few other BPA-free bottles (from another brand maybe) to supplement this starter set.

Since then, I made an effort to buy baby items that are BPA-free, with my husband rolling his eyes, pouting and giving me dirty looks everytime he sees me at the check-out counter. I have learned to ignore him when I go shopping.

Last Friday was different. Friday night saw me at the babies section of the department store yet again, looking for a few items we still needed (and a few others we don't but I still wanted anyway). My husband wandered off for a while looking at other stuff and when we met up at the check-out counter, I saw that he was reading a brochure. When we got home, I saw that the brochure was from Babisil, discussing the effects of BPA. He showed it to me and asked "Hey, what if we buy this?"

Babisil Silbottle

So that was the shelf he was looking at. I just stared at him for a while, resisting my "I-told-you-so" urges.

"Did you check how much those are?", I asked because I know they cost around the same, or more, than Playtex VentAire Crystal Clear.

"Yup."

"And?"

"I like them, the look nice... and they're anti-colic, see?" (oh, so now he knows what anti-colic means... another concept I've been trying to explain to him for months!)

Sometimes, you really do just have to see something you like.

I miss...

... my beautiful feet.
Every time I look at them now, they're all puffy.

... my shoes.
I don't fit into any of my shoes anymore. I've been stuck to the 1-3 pairs that will fit my puffy feet for a few months now. I was looking for a pair of shoes this morning and I looked at my shoe organizer and realized I miss wearing my shoes and appreciating how nice my feet used to look in them. I hope they still fit me after all this. If not... well, perfect excuse to start buying new ones >:)

... my wedding ring.
I've gotten so used to it. But I only stopped wearing if for a couple of weeks. Hopefully, I'll be back to wearing it again soon.

... being able to walk gracefully.
Walking nowadays, aside from being a pain, consists of lifting your entire right side... then your left... and hope that you are moving forward in the process.

... a peaceful and uninterrupted night's sleep.

... being able to sleep on your back without anything hurting.

... being able to sleep without anything hurting... period.

... my clothes.
Maternity jeans suck. Maternity clothes suck.

... my artificially straight hair.
It's back to being all thick and wavy and difficult to keep neat.

... stepping into a weighing scale without wanting to cry.

... Diet Coke, beer, coffee.

Motherhood 101: Laying my Crib Issue to Rest

NOTE: If you're getting tired of reading baby-related shopping blogs, please avoid my blog for a while (until around mid-October). I'm really not buying anything for me or for any other part of the house except the nursery these days.

It's been weeks of stressing since my husband and I both decided on a playpen we both liked. It was a bit beyond our budget if we are to buy it here (as opposed to buying overseas) so we spent a lot of time exploring other buying options. I finally got tired after weeks of chasing leads so I told my husband that either we're buying it here, or we'll just get a different one. Then holding up baby girl's ultrasound photo, "...if you don't think she's worth it."

There are ways of getting what you want ;)

We made plans to go the main office of Chicco's local dealer this weekend to place our order because that's the only place where we can get the model and the color we wanted. But last night, we went to the mall to get a gift for a friend's baby. While I was shopping, my husband wandered off. When I finally caught up with him, I saw him playing with one of the Graco playpens displayed. I already had a nagging feeling we'd be going home with that playpen so I tried to get him to snap out of it. I told him we will compare so we left the playpen and went to the Chicco store where they have a display of the model we initially agreed on. He fidgeted with the playpen for a while then told me that he liked the Graco one better.

Bye-bye Chicco :(

Wow, he can be more fickle-minded than I am! Last shot... I tried to convince him subtly over dinner that the Chicco one is better but for some reason, he was fixated with the Graco one.

So my intuition proved right, we did go home with a playpen last night.

Baby girl's new playpen.

By the way, if you're wondering if cost had anything to do with my husband's decision, the answer is no. Both the Chicco and Graco playpens we were choosing from cost exactly the same. I'm slowly realizing that budget is as elastic a concept as Lastikman so why bother?

Motherhood 101: The 3D/4D Experience

I was in pain but it was the last day of the mall sale and I really wanted to get the more expensive stuff we need while they are discounted so I decided to suck it and asked my husband to go to the mall with me last Sunday. I was barely over 27 weeks and I know recommended period to get the 3D/4D ultrasound is between 28-32 weeks but I needed to know if baby is a girl or a boy so I can get to the shopping part armed with the knowledge (plus the fact that I really have been looking forward to this and with my EQ being unusually low when it comes to these things, I decided I didn't want to wait).

When we got to the mall, we went straight to the ultrasound clinic. I have to admit, I was a bit disappointed at the experience. I mean I was excited at first when the image first came into view and I immediately thought "That looks like Helaena!" (my niece). But then, we started to realize that the images were not as clear as those displayed at the lobby, on the brochures and on the website. The session was supposed to last anywhere between 20-30 minutes but I got tired of it after only a few minutes... maybe becausee of the image quality. I really wasn't seeing anything new. Good thing we opted to get the cheaper package with photos only, no video. Though we can see the baby moving, I don't think we'd be able to appreciate it much given the quality of the images.

Anyway, we're having a baby girl and here she is:

We did make it to the shopping part (yey for me!!). She already has a bottle sterilizer, 2 sets of beddings and a bath tub. That was all we could carry since the comforters were bulky.

Motherhood 101: Our first baby-related purchase!

Finally! Something about this whole thing I can absolutely relate to... shopping! :)

So far, I haven't really been feeling anything about this whole baby thing. Everything about this pregnancy has been about discomfort, pain and hospitals. I guess that's why I never talk about it much. Until now, the baby is still like an abstract entity... I know it's coming, I feel it moving... but you don't really feel it.

The past few months, I've been prey to sales people in the baby section of almost every mall I've visited. I must've seen every product catalogue and demo there is for all major baby products. The fact that I tell them am not planning on buying anything yet doesn't seem to deter them. Last night was no different. They seem to know the moment my eyes wandered towards the cribs and strollers area because suddenly, there they were. But last night, I actually saw something I really, really liked. I never really thought we'd get it because it was not within the price range I set for myself for this particular equipment but I asked to see the demo anyway.

• Stroller comes with carrier/car seat, check
• Neutral color, check
• Classy, check (of course this is important to me! I'd be the one pushing it)
• Reputable brand, check (shallow I know, but first baby so let me be)
  
• Lightweight, check (again, I get the feeling I'd be the one pushing and carrying it)
• Removable front tray, check
• Within my price range... not really... but...
• Carrier also functions as a rocker (like Helaena's), a plus!
• Wheels has suspension for bumpy surfaces, another plus!

Pretty huh? :)

So in spite of people telling us it's still too early to buy baby stuff, we went home with a stroller and a carrier anyway... and with a more concrete sense of reality of our baby that is about to arrive in a few months (since there is now something in the house that actually belongs to him/her). And with me on a shopping high! I guess my husband was feeling more excited too since he was sending me links on playards all morning. We both agreed (I think... I told him I like this one and I don't really remember what he said afterward...) to get this one:
We haven't seen it in any mall around here yet but I hope my dad agrees to lug it back here when he gets back from his trip (I really, really hope he says yes!).