I have obsessive-compulsive tendencies. And I get those tendencies at the most unusual times.
I was working on something I had to complete for work earlier when I was hit with a strong compulsion to check one of my old email accounts. It was a feeling I couldn't shake and kept bothering me until I couldn't work anymore until I did.
I created that email account in 2005, before I left my first job. The primary purpose of that account was to back up the personal emails that I wanted to save that were sent to my work email account, before it was disabled.
(Lesson learned: never, ever use your work email for personal correspondence... but I was young then and I was proud of my first work-related email account so I used it a lot to email my friendly friends back then)
I haven't opened that email account in a long time and I have long forgotten the emails and most of the people behind those emails. I decided to close that account and forward the emails I wanted to keep to my now-with-unlimited-capacity primary web email. So I started reading through them...
How could I have forgotten you?
Most of you have heard my horror stories.... the reasons that pushed me to quit my first job. Due to the poignancy of those events, I guess it was easy to overlook the small things.
The small things that kept me there for a long time, and in spite of everything that happened, made it difficult for me to leave.
It was all there in the emails I kept.
How could I have forgotten?
The small jokes and how we managed to laugh after a meeting gone bad (...really bad, I think). Small discussions with my boss who had a big part in shaping my professional values (until now, I still have his words of wisdom in my head... and I like to think I'm living them). Stories, small talk, and angst bouncing back and forth between floors when we couldn't talk out loud because we had people breathing down our necks (literally for some of us, haha).
My last few months were the most tumultous, but your old emails reminded me that there were good times. There were friends and good things worth remembering.
I remember now. And I hope I never forget again.
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Monday, September 8, 2008
Lola's Photo Album
Yesterday was Grandparents' Day, in case you didn't know. Another holiday probably invented by Hallmark for commercial purposes, but it serves my family well since it's a reason to gather everyone and visit Lola.
Lola, as we call my grandmother from my mom's side, is my last remaining grandparent. Among our grandparents, me and my sister were always closest to Lola. We used to play at her house when we were kids when mom and dad were at work. I remember going with her to the public school where she teaches 2nd Grade English when I was about 4 or 5 years old, and sitting in the classroom with the other students as she teaches. Then when we moved to Bataan and she was already retired, she would visit us and stay with us for weeks at a time.
Lola was a very big part of our childhood. And probably one of the best.
While we were at her house yesterday afternoon, she took out the box where she keeps her pictures to show us the most recent photos she has of one of our cousins. My mom commented that Lola should put the photos in an album since most of the most recent photos are loose. But Lola said she has no need for more albums. When she's gone, she doesn't know who will want to keep the photos she has collected over the years anyway.
I'm not sure why, but her comment made me a little sad. I guess because in my heart, I know it to be true. Not only for her, but for all of us.
We spend our entire lives collecting memories: small items of great sentimental value... but are useless artifacts to others. A flower pressed into the pages of a book. An old dorm room key. And pictures... lots and lots of them: the story of one lifetime.
What really happens to them when we leave?
I saw an old album in Lola's box. I' ve seen those photos before but never really gave them much thought. In an effort to preserve part of my family's memories and history, I borrowed the album and scanned the photos. I hope these will be easier to keep than the originals and hopefully will last longer.
Here are some of the photos from Lola's photo album.
Lola, as we call my grandmother from my mom's side, is my last remaining grandparent. Among our grandparents, me and my sister were always closest to Lola. We used to play at her house when we were kids when mom and dad were at work. I remember going with her to the public school where she teaches 2nd Grade English when I was about 4 or 5 years old, and sitting in the classroom with the other students as she teaches. Then when we moved to Bataan and she was already retired, she would visit us and stay with us for weeks at a time.
Lola was a very big part of our childhood. And probably one of the best.While we were at her house yesterday afternoon, she took out the box where she keeps her pictures to show us the most recent photos she has of one of our cousins. My mom commented that Lola should put the photos in an album since most of the most recent photos are loose. But Lola said she has no need for more albums. When she's gone, she doesn't know who will want to keep the photos she has collected over the years anyway.
I'm not sure why, but her comment made me a little sad. I guess because in my heart, I know it to be true. Not only for her, but for all of us.
We spend our entire lives collecting memories: small items of great sentimental value... but are useless artifacts to others. A flower pressed into the pages of a book. An old dorm room key. And pictures... lots and lots of them: the story of one lifetime.
What really happens to them when we leave?
I saw an old album in Lola's box. I' ve seen those photos before but never really gave them much thought. In an effort to preserve part of my family's memories and history, I borrowed the album and scanned the photos. I hope these will be easier to keep than the originals and hopefully will last longer.
Here are some of the photos from Lola's photo album.
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